


Shanghai Street Hockey

by Lothithil



Category: Big Bang Theory, Stargate - All Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-27
Updated: 2011-11-27
Packaged: 2017-10-26 14:23:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lothithil/pseuds/Lothithil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack organizes the residents for a little fresh air and contusions. For 'The House That Jack Built'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shanghai Street Hockey

**Shanghai Street Hockey**

The coffee had barely begun to brew when the unmistakable sound of a fire alarm began to hoot through the building.

Sam switched off her Bunsen burner and the coffee maker while Liz grabbed their shoes and a couple of jackets. Within minutes, they were standing in the street amid a growing crowd of building residents. Not a trace of smoke or any sign of a fire truck was to be seen, but strangely—the street immediately in front of the building was inexplicably blocked off on one side by a cross-parked green Ford dualie and a wheeled dumpster on the other.

It wasn’t long before the murmuring began.

Suddenly the alarm cut out, and down the steps from the entrance came Jack. O’Neill… wearing a vividly colored hockey jersey, a whistle hanging around his neck, and a shit-eating grin.

He began to pace leisurely back and forth in front of the confused and sleepy crowd, tossing and catching a hockey puck in one hand.

“I suppose you’re all wondering why I’ve brought you together.”

“What about the fire?” blurted Daniel, worried about his precious books.

“No fire,” Jack said, “just a little ruse on my part… a little motivation to get you all out here together… and perhaps get some adrenaline flowing through those flabby veins...

“You see… it has been recently brought to my attention that I’ve been wasting my talents--” Jack gave a little inclined bow in Sam’s direction. Sam clutched her cardigan about her shoulders and blushed. “--and that my copious free time could be better spent coaching youngsters in the sport that I love. I have decided to do this, and since there aren’t any underprivileged children in this neighborhood, I have determined that you all shall be happy recipients of my attention. Now, divide up into two team in any way that you want, and let’s get this game going!”

“Game? What game?” Rodney protested. Daniel stood next to him, looking miserably as if he hadn’t slept more than half an hour in the past three days.

“Street hockey, of course. What will it be…? Boys vs. Girls? No, we want this to be fair… let’s pick teams. Cam, you be captain of one team. Sheppard, you can be captain of the second…”

“Wait a minute!” Liz stepped forward. She had been eyeing the alleyway, hoping to slip off to avoid being involved in this ridiculous exercise, but O’Neill’s words had stung her feminine pride. “What makes you think that we girls can’t hold our own against the boys? And why are the captains both male? I don’t think **that’s** fair…”

O’Neill smiled, “If you think you can do a better job... fine.”

And then Liz realized that she’d totally taken the bait… hook, line, sinker, and beer bottle.

“Whoa! Hold it there,” demanded Vala. “First of all… there isn’t a flabby vein _anywhere_ in my body… though I can see where you might be concerned about our nerdlings… and second of all… can we play Shirts vs. Skins? I volunteer to be on the Skins team!” She began to tug her lycra top over her head.

“Yeah… you can’t force us to play!”

“I have a lab to complete…

“I can’t play in house slippers…”

“Vala, put your clothes back on!”

A piecing whistle cut through the rising volume of chatter. O’Neill stood on the steps, calm and confident. “No, you’re right… I **can’t** force you to play. This is for your benefit, and if you choose not to participate, then I can not but let you go back to your apartments and go on about your tedious, brainy-ack little lives…

“HOWEVER… those who choose to remain and play will receive free cable and get 50 bucks knocked off the top of their rent... you'll find the hockey sticks in the bed of the truck, and there's shin-guards for the goalies.”

“Just let me go and change my shoes...!”

“There’s more guys that girls… we want Murry on our team!”

“Not fair! Then we get the sun advantage…”

O’Neill plugged his grin with the whistle and folded his hands behind his back, rocking back and forth on toe and heel with an air of satisfaction.


End file.
